tie it up in a little bow

this past week, i went to “close of service” conference in rabat. this is where they prepare us for finishing service and returning to america. they encouraged us to think about our peace corps service, what it meant to us, and what we’ve learned. i have just over three months left in peace corps. my 27 month commitment is nearly completed. it’s been quite a ride. this will probably be one of my last entries on my peace corps blog. the following entry will tie together the personal journey that i’ve made over the past two years. it’s one of my more personal entries including the reasons that i joined, what i’ve learned, and what i’ll take back with me. i’m warning you before you’re too committed - this is a long entry. this is not required reading and there won’t be a quiz. consider yourself warned.


why i joined peace corps:

before i left, a lot of people asked me why i was joining peace corps. i gave a lot of different answers because there were a lot of different answers. in short, i joined peace corps to learn about another culture, public health in practice, and more about myself. i thought it was an excellent opportunity to live in a foreign country while gaining experience in public health. i wanted to learn another language and live in a challenging situation. i wanted to volunteer and spend some time living poor. i wanted to push myself to change everything about my life, where i was living, the job i had, the language i spoke, and prove to myself that i could adapt. i wanted to become less materialistic and force myself to reassess my priorities. i wanted a chance to work autonomously, doing the work that i was good at and that i wanted to do. i wanted to have some free time to travel, read, think, and learn new things. i wanted a chance to see public health in action, working (or not working) on a grassroots level. i wanted to see if it was a field that i could commit to; if it was a field that met my needs and held my interest. i also felt that peace corps would offer me the experience and the type of job that i could never have in america. it was the perfect time for me to take a risk, make a change, and try something that i might not have had the chance to do later. two years later, it was one of the best decisions that i have ever made. it’s certainly not for everyone, but i think it was a good fit for me. i accomplished the goals that i set out to, and i had a marvelous time.


what i’ve learned about myself:

*i can adjust to almost any situation. that said, i was surprised the things that were the hardest for me to adjust to: lack of communication (lack of cell phone reception for the first six months, and lack of internet), writing things by hand, and the monotony of the food for the first six months during training and living with a host family. the easiest things for me to adjust to surprised me too: dealing with a lot of free time (i thought i’d be bored), long waits for public transportation (it usually took me at least 3 hours to get to the closest city, which was only 55 miles away), turkish toilets, severed goat heads hanging up in market -- the cow heads took a little more getting used to.
*i can almost survive on $350 a month. well, at least in morocco... it helped that rent was only $60, i had no car, and vegetables are really cheap.
*i’ve realized that i’m very judgmental of people, situations, and circumstances. i have started to actively acknowledge this, and work on being less judgmental, but it’s a long road, so give me a break.
*i can relate to people that i seemingly have very little in common with.
*i am capable of learning another language. surprisingly, it’s not as difficult as i thought. and i’d definitely like a learn another one. probably spanish.
*i think i will really love public health. i’m excited to go back to school and eventually pursue a career in the field.
*teenagers are my favorite age group to work with. i’d like to continue to work with them, either as part of my job or in my volunteer work.
*i really love to travel.
*i really like living alone.
*i can live without running water. i hate it, but i can do it.
*i can’t live without electricity. those two days were devastating.
*i never want to live in a rural area again. i’m a city girl. maybe i could live in a town, but i’m not sure about that. as appalling as it sounds, fresh air and sunshine make me nauseous after a while. but the starry nights are to die for. oh well, that’s what camping is for.
*i never want to live without internet or a computer again. i can barely function. it’s always been my preferred mode of communication, research, information, organization, and pretty much everything else. it’s just something i’ve accepted.
*i can’t live without music. thankfully, i didn’t have to.
*i really hate doing laundry, especially by hand.
*i don’t mind doing the dishes as much as i thought.
*i really love cooking, and having the time to do so.
*i discovered that i really like onions, black pepper, turmeric, black coffee and i really hate cilantro, cumin, and rural moroccan couscous (it’s terribly bland).
*i will never like organ meat. just say no. i can’t wait to be a vegetarian again.
*i prefer the metric system.
*i don’t really like blogging ;)
*i am a really terrible speller.
*i (obviously) really like making lists.
*i use the word really too much.


ways that i’d like to think i’ve grown:

*i am much more grateful for the opportunities that i’ve had. basic things like having the chance to go school, learning english, having a lot of control over my own life, and being able to read
*i think i’m less angry now.
*i’m a little more patient and a little less judgmental. not a lot, but again, long road.
*i understand and appreciate islam a lot more. i’ve learned to love the five-times-daily call to prayer, the holidays, and ramadan (well, at least the part that we break fast)
*i’ve learned how similar all people are. the consistencies across borders: importance of family, socializing over food and drinks (although, in morocco it’s tea, not beer/wine), finding ways to laugh, celebrating holidays, births, weddings, and important live changes, and just trying to make the best with what you have.
*accepting that things don’t always (or even usually) go as planned.
*i’m a lot more patriotic than i used to be. for the first time in my life, being american became one of my main identifying characteristic. although, i’ve become much more pleased to be american than i used to be, i’m not as ethnocentric anymore. i’ve learned to appreciate other cultures and ways of doing things.
*i am generally more realistic in my expectations of others and situations
*i am more apt to try new things and put myself in uncomfortable/challenging situations.


things i promise never to complain about or take for granted again:

*i promise to never complain about taking out the trash. i never got used to burning or burying my own trash.
*i promise to never complain about washing my clothes in a machine. but i still hate laundry.
*i promise to never complain waiting five minutes for a late bus or train.
*i promise to never complain when a restaurant is out of a dish that i want (most of the time in morocco, you ask for at least two menu items before you find something that they have).
*i promise never to complain about waiting in lines. i didn’t encounter a lot of lines in morocco. even when there’s an attempt to make a line like the post office or supermarket, it really just involves a lot of pushing. although, i did have a positive line experience once in rabat.
*i promise never to take for granted having toilet paper provided in bathroom stalls.
*i promise never to take western toilets for granted.
*i promise never to take pilot lights for granted.
*i promise never to take for granted english as a first language.
*i promise never to take sliced bread for granted. who knew that many places in the world don’t have sliced bread. i’m still not over the shock. and what good is the “best thing since sliced bread” phrase in places that don’t have sliced bread?
*i promise never to take appliances and machines (toaster over, dryers, lawn mowers, microwaves, dishwashers, etc.) for granted.
*i promise never to take bookstores, libraries, and books in english for granted again.
*i promise never to take free refills for granted.
*i promise never to take anonymity for granted. i imagine that in america people won’t scream “foreigner/white person” everywhere i go.
*i promise never to take for granted the american breakfast (pancakes, waffles, eggs, hash browns, home fries, cold cereal, oatmeal, toast... i’m going to faint). this another thing that never really caught on in the rest of the world... morocco, it’s always bread for breakfast.. even france doesn’t do this one right.


the third goal:

peace corps has three goals. the first is offering the host country qualified volunteers and technical assistance. the second is sharing american culture with the host country. the third is sharing the host countries culture with americans. mostly, the thrid goal is completed after service. it involves sharing what i’ve learned about the host country (in this case, morocco) with people back home. i have started to work on this goal by sharing my experience through this blog, emails, phone conversations, letters (don’t be mad if you didn’t get one, i didn’t send all that many... stamps are expensive). i also participated in a world wise classroom, by sending this class some information about morocco and creating a powerpoint with pictures. when i get home, i hope to continue to share my experience, showing pictures, making food, playing music (although probably not too much of this... i’m not that biggest fan of moroccan music), answering questions, and dispelling myths. if you or someone you know is interested in having me participate in an event, or talk to a class or group about morocco or peace corps, i’d be more than happy to. also, if you are interested in joining peace corps, feel free to contact me if you have questions. okay, that’s my spiel. enough about that.


you’ve reached the end. assuming you didn’t just scroll to the end, you are a brave solider. i’m looking forward to seeing everyone. i should be back home in mid-june. my last day of service is may 30... and then i’ll spent a few weeks traveling...and then back to my country of allegiance. miss you all and see you soon.